Cyberbullying

Many parents consider bullying a part of growing up. Just one or two instances is certainly not unusual—after all, everyone gets teased at one time or another. But some parents don’t realize the devastating effects that it can have on their children. When instances start happening on a regular basis, they become a serious problem.

While abuse and intimidation has been a long lasting problem for many teens, cyberbullying has become widespread in recent years. While cyberbullying may not be “direct” physical abuse, the scars are just as deep and meaningful.

According to cyberbullyhotline.com, suicide is the third leading killer of teens (followed by car accidents and homicide). Twenty percent of teens have had thoughts of suicide, and one in ten attempt it. With eighty percent of teens using social media on a regular basis, cyberbullying is a real threat to the health, safety, and development of our children.

In 2012 Jay ‘Corey’ Jones (age 17) and Rachel Ehmke (age 13) from Minnesota were both victims of cyberbullying. They endured months of ridicule that led them to suicide. In the wake of these two tragedies, Minnesota adopted laws preventing cyberbullying. Still many adults wonder what they can do to prevent their child from becoming a victim.

The anti-defamation league’s website tells parents to watch for these warning signs:

• appearing upset after using the computer or viewing text messages.
• appearing sad, moody, or anxious.
• expressing reluctance or refuses to participate in activities previously enjoyed.
• withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities.
• avoiding school.
• experiencing a drop in grades.
• showing signs of depression or sadness.

Given this list, it’s hard to know when these signs aren’t just “normal” teen behavior. The website suggests that parents build a close relationship with their children so that they can recognize emotional and physical changes that are unusual.

Here is a concise list of some of the things parents can do to prevent cyberbullying:

• Monitor online usage. Avoid letting children use devices that access the internet in their bedrooms.
• Frequently talk to children about online issues.
• Parents should learn how different social networking websites work and have access to all them.
• Set expectations for online usage with your children. Parents should seek their children’s input when establishing rules. This could result in the form of a contract.
• Work with school’s guidance counselors so that they can keep an eye out for bullying at school.
• Create a crisis plan should they becomes a victim of cyberbullying. Here are a few guidelines: 1. Don’t react; 2. Save messages; 3. Encourage the child to share with a trusted adult.
• If bullying escalates or continues, get law enforcement involved.

Everyday children of all ages experience cyberbullying. Whoopi Goldberg said, “Bullies are ball-less, soul-less creatures … It’s meant to make you feel afraid. It’s meant to make you feel powerless to take care of the situation you find yourself in.” As adults, we have the power to shape our children’s lives for the better. We can help them, educate them, and protect them. Bullying, on or offline, doesn’t have to be a part of growing up.